On my way to church today, I thought of all the people, both friends and Strangers, whom I have had Beautiful Encounters with, and realised how precious our exchanges have been. Precious, because they were collisions of serendipity. Precious, because ever so often, you tell me things you said you had never told anyone, even though we were meeting and speaking for the first, or second time.
There was you, L, a young girl, pouring out to me your entire life struggle with anorexia, bulimia and bingeing; B, a working adult, stuttering and almost in tears just telling me why you left church, and how it left a hole in you; R, a Singaporean traveller I had met during my solo backpacking trip while I was in the outskirts of Nepal, telling me how devastated you were by your mother's diagnosis of cancer; C, a young lady on a train with multiple wrist slits, telling me how you tried to kill yourself just days before we talked; Z, a quiet person on a public bus, sharing with me how your younger sibling had committed suicide lately, and you didn't know how to cope, you didn't know how to cope, you just didn't know how to cope.
I met all these people, and more, only since my trip to Nepal in June this year. All these people, I had met only for the first or second time. Random Strangers, interwoven into my path, pouring out life stories, heartsongs, cries of their inner spirit- all, looking for something to hold on to.
Once, bewildered and deeply puzzled by the sudden flourish of Encounters I kept having with people, homeless, depressed, anorexic, suicidal, poor, I finally shared with a friend all my stories, and asked, in true sincerity, "Is this normal? I mean, all these Encounters, do you have them too, or am I making a big thing out of nothing?"
And in reply, J laughed. "No, I don't think it's 'normal'." You giggled as you said that, and then you grew sober, "You know, maybe, maybe God has a reason and a purpose for all these Encounters, for letting your paths cross. Look at what people tell you without you asking them. It's a gift. Think about it."
I did. I have been. And I think I know why.
A vibe. You said it was a vibe. And I believed you, because I remember that homeless stranger, Hideo, walking up to me, his first question being, "You an artist?" and when I asked him why he chose to speak to me, he merely replied mysteriously, "Your vibe, just." We ended up talking for five hours. About life, literature and poetry.
More than a vibe, I truly believe now that it's when we have nothing to hide, when we open our hearts to be brave to tell people our experiences, our darknesses, something in our human spirit sends a message to other humans- that we too, are Vulnerable. That because we have exposed ourselves to being vulnerable for them, they, too, can be vulnerable with us.
I kept trying to trace how this crazy human-stranger-reaction cascade began, and it began on my trip in Nepal, when I met Chloe on a rickety Nepali bus. She was a beautiful Scandinavian living in Australia, and the first Stranger I could recount and share my experience with anorexia, depression, Kitesong and God to. It was at that moment, I believe, that something special happened. I had taken the conscious step to become Vulnerable, and in turn, she, too, did the same, and shared her Story with me.
Things have never been the same since that trip to Nepal.
When we make that choice to be unashamed of our past and our experiences, and to be willing to be made Vulnerable in front of people, Strangers, friends, anyone, I believe something hard, something hardened in our spirit becomes broken in that moment. And because we are all human, all connected in some profoundly divine and mysterious way in our lives, I believe people sense that, and in turn, are willing to be Vulnerable with you.
For some strangers, especially those with anorexia, I have had the privilege to listen to their stories only after sharing mine. But for others, they have shared wholeheartedly, voluntarily. I cannot understand it myself. I believe with all my heart there is not one fibre in me that makes me more special than anybody else. But I do believe that God is directing me somewhere, some place through this, teaching me something that delves deep, and far back- that to truly be free, to truly reach out to others and change lives, we first need to be comfortable with ourselves, comfortable with the experiences we've been through, and thankful to Him for them. We need to be unafraid to share them, because when we make that decision in our hearts, something deep and unspoken is broken. A stronghold is released, a beautiful, free spirit is released. That vibe.
And people, friends and Strangers, will come to you because everyone needs, wants to be listened to. Everyone has a dark story, a heart's cry. Every one wants to be Stopped for. Every one.
These Strangers who've become friends have blessed me in ways deeper than I could imagine, sometimes sending me notes, emails, text messages about the way their lives have changed, in however small a way, since our Encounter. And always, always, my life is impacted by their sharing, their life, their courage to share with me, a Stranger to them too, a piece of their Story, themselves.
We cannot claim to solve their problems, heal them even, because how we've all fallen short of the kind of love only God can give. By our own abilities, we cannot even claim to have the time, energy, or strength to stop for every single person. We can only love the way He loves if we see how small we are, truly, and in entering that place of utter humility and surrender, be multiplied like bread to fill a multitude of Strangers, more than we could imagine we would be able to. How we can only have the strength, time and energy to do so for everyone only when we stand in the palm of God's hand, and allow that hardened thing in our spirit called pride to be broken.
It is impossible, otherwise.
Make that Decision to make yourself vulnerable, be bold and tell someone your Story. However dark, seemingly shameful, or terrible it may be, it will release that captive spirit trapped inside of you, a spirit that was meant to be Free and Beautiful, unbound by shame, pride or fear. And when that spirit is released, oh, look at the people you will draw to yourself. When you yourself are finally freed, people will sense that freedom, that vibe, even before you start sharing. People just know, and they, Strangers and friends, will come. And when they do come, you can point Home, where He is, where all of us belong.
Free and Beautiful spirits rain from a place called heaven. It only takes a Decision.
I received an email from one of you again lately:
It is amazing how a small and simple thing can create such great ripples in one's heart, because your actions did just so, not only in my heart but in my friend's heart as well.
So, open your mouth, open your heart. Set the captive free, and in turn, free others.
Be surprised by the ripple effect.
We had a prayer meeting at church today.
"You have a beautiful spirit. I just needed to tell you that. There was something different about you while we were praying together with the others, something in your spirit. " An Indian lady who was sitting at my row, whom I had never seen before at church came up to tell me and hugged me before I left today. I thanked her.
But do you see, it's not me. It's the Decision.
There's nothing to be proud of- there really isn't. It's not anything we do. It's about a Decision, a Decision to be Free and Beautiful. I don't claim to be so, because I'm merely on the road. It's a Decision about trusting God with sharing our vulnerabilities with others to connect with and help them, because people are attracted to things which are free and beautiful-like God. It's about allowing Him to set something trapped... free. And when we do make that Decision to trust in Him, to let go, to share, to love, we generate an unstoppable chain reaction, a ripple effect, that sets others free, too.
Open your mouth, open your heart. Be brave to be Free and Beautiful. Set your captives and other's captives free.
People will come, oh, the people will come.
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