Friday, April 30, 2010
Picking Rainbow Up.
I guess when you start drawing a circle from a point, it's only right that it comes to completion. Is that why they say rainbows really are full circles, and not half-arches?
Sitting there at the same spot at the foot of my bed, where at one point, I had spent endless hours crying and praying and questioning God during that dark period, I suddenly took in the reality of what had happened.
I could hardly believe it, but it has been not two, but almost three years since A Taste of Rainbow was written, almost five years since I started to be very ill. For three years, nothing happened in spite of prayer, knocking on God's door and crying my eyes out asking Him why. Why I wasn't healed, why the book wasn't published, why God would treat me like such a puppet (or so I thought) and look at me with a frowning smile.
The worst part was, when others and I hardly believed it would come to pass, only the memory of a real rainbow arc I saw in the sky after I had finished the first draft of the book gave me hope. A rainbow in the sky, how foolish. A coincidence, that was all there was to hold on to in the face of a dream which seemed so bleak.
I remember, just the sight of that stack of paintings, and the unanswered prayer of whether I would be healed, whether anything good would come out of this experience, whether A Taste of Rainbow would be published, hurt.
Three years in medical school later, one triathlon, one thrown-away weighing scale, hundreds of church sermons and many meals taken heartily with good friends later, the day finally came when I handed my publisher all the paintings for the book. This week, I met my publisher for lunch at a lovely social enterprise called Professor Brawn which hires people from underprivileged socio-economic backgrounds and which supports the newly opened Pathlight School, a school for children with autism.
God has His perfect timing. Because that has been just the amount of time I needed to fully heal and recover. All the time which passed, was essential for me to release control of my life. At a talk by medical missionary Dr Tan Lai Yong last night, he said that the most important quality a missionary must have is the ability to lose control. Perhaps, it is perfect that I got injured, that I can learn to be secure with unexpected circumstance, with who I am, even without training or exercise.
My publisher told me, "It was good to pick Rainbow up again."
Suddenly, I realised, that after 3 years of praying over that stack of paintings, they're gone. Handed over.
Yes, indeed. It was good to pick up where we left off.
* A Taste of Rainbow will be published sometime later this year. It is a picture book about courage, hope and faith, written and illustrated to raise funds and awareness for people who are hurting in silence. Because it is fully sponsored and supported by Singapore General Hospital, Khoo Teck Phuat Foundation, Singhealth and Landmark Books, all the funds raised will go straight to the beneficiaries. This is a non-profit project. We can make the world a braver, kinder and more joyful place.
Sitting there at the same spot at the foot of my bed, where at one point, I had spent endless hours crying and praying and questioning God during that dark period, I suddenly took in the reality of what had happened.
I could hardly believe it, but it has been not two, but almost three years since A Taste of Rainbow was written, almost five years since I started to be very ill. For three years, nothing happened in spite of prayer, knocking on God's door and crying my eyes out asking Him why. Why I wasn't healed, why the book wasn't published, why God would treat me like such a puppet (or so I thought) and look at me with a frowning smile.
The worst part was, when others and I hardly believed it would come to pass, only the memory of a real rainbow arc I saw in the sky after I had finished the first draft of the book gave me hope. A rainbow in the sky, how foolish. A coincidence, that was all there was to hold on to in the face of a dream which seemed so bleak.
I remember, just the sight of that stack of paintings, and the unanswered prayer of whether I would be healed, whether anything good would come out of this experience, whether A Taste of Rainbow would be published, hurt.
Three years in medical school later, one triathlon, one thrown-away weighing scale, hundreds of church sermons and many meals taken heartily with good friends later, the day finally came when I handed my publisher all the paintings for the book. This week, I met my publisher for lunch at a lovely social enterprise called Professor Brawn which hires people from underprivileged socio-economic backgrounds and which supports the newly opened Pathlight School, a school for children with autism.
God has His perfect timing. Because that has been just the amount of time I needed to fully heal and recover. All the time which passed, was essential for me to release control of my life. At a talk by medical missionary Dr Tan Lai Yong last night, he said that the most important quality a missionary must have is the ability to lose control. Perhaps, it is perfect that I got injured, that I can learn to be secure with unexpected circumstance, with who I am, even without training or exercise.
My publisher told me, "It was good to pick Rainbow up again."
Suddenly, I realised, that after 3 years of praying over that stack of paintings, they're gone. Handed over.
Yes, indeed. It was good to pick up where we left off.
* A Taste of Rainbow will be published sometime later this year. It is a picture book about courage, hope and faith, written and illustrated to raise funds and awareness for people who are hurting in silence. Because it is fully sponsored and supported by Singapore General Hospital, Khoo Teck Phuat Foundation, Singhealth and Landmark Books, all the funds raised will go straight to the beneficiaries. This is a non-profit project. We can make the world a braver, kinder and more joyful place.
Oya Mayu in bed room
I post this girl in first time Oya Mayu in her bed room.Yes bed room but this set you not see her bed it lying behind carmeraman you will find she in bed on next post I promise.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Barbering
Snow???
It actually snowed here on April 27th... wtf??? It was pretty crazy...it snowed all day. But it's gone now and it's nice weather again.Weird. This is a pic I took outside my apartment building the nextmorning before it all melted.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Barbering
Sunday, April 25, 2010
In You, I rest.
Perhaps it's just as well that I've fallen ill today, so I can truly, truly rest.
I'm just really thankful for this season of rest, where I can slow down to smell the flowers, meet people, smell the rain, spend more time with my books instead of constantly running around, running around... At church yesterday, Uncle S stopped me to ask the same question he always asks, "So when are you slowing down? Mr. Right arrived yet?"
To which I replied, "Yes, I got injured, slowing down. Smelling the roses. But still busy, too busy. And er, well, I'm an unopened rose! Not time yet. Just resting, learning how to rest."
Nausea. Bloatedness. Giddiness. Maybe it's God's kind way of helping me REST.
And the feeling like only a neverending sleep on the bough of a big tree will suffice.
O God, come quickly.
I'm just really thankful for this season of rest, where I can slow down to smell the flowers, meet people, smell the rain, spend more time with my books instead of constantly running around, running around... At church yesterday, Uncle S stopped me to ask the same question he always asks, "So when are you slowing down? Mr. Right arrived yet?"
To which I replied, "Yes, I got injured, slowing down. Smelling the roses. But still busy, too busy. And er, well, I'm an unopened rose! Not time yet. Just resting, learning how to rest."
Nausea. Bloatedness. Giddiness. Maybe it's God's kind way of helping me REST.
And the feeling like only a neverending sleep on the bough of a big tree will suffice.
O God, come quickly.
This is what the LORD says:
"Stand at the crossroads and look;
Ask for the ancient paths,
Ask where the good way is,
and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.
-Jeremiah 6:16a
Confession:
This picture was taken by Xi. Just in case you thought it was a serene shot elegantly taken, let me just say how terribly difficult it was to climb up that slippery, sinewy bough in a white dress! By the time I got up, my dress was partly brown, and only the most gingerly cat would have been able to balance comfortably on that tree. Xi and I both tumbled in an unglamorous mess of brown, slimy leaves when he tried to help me as I jumped from the branch.
So much for elegance, huh.
Maybe that's why photography details are best left as secrets. Moral: Looks are deceiving!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Generosity.
He greets every patient with the kind of smile that lights up a room. He makes sure he speaks personally to every single patient, and often squats on the floor just so he can be at eye level with those who are bedbound. He treats students like myself as his equal, always patiently answering our every question and turning every query into a discussion, instead of dismissing us as we so often are. He makes every person feel so important, so precious.
I have started a new module at another hospital. My stint at the previous hospital had left me jaded and rather discouraged, making me question my vocation. Now every day, I am reinspired by his enthusiasm for his work, passion to teach and dedication to his patients. I used to dislike Internal Medicine as a subject because I found it so incredibly difficult to master. Because of him, I now enjoy it tremendously.
There was something so effervescent, and genuine about his personality. (I hate to admit this, but doctors are valecdictorians of Making Other People Feel Like They Are Taking Up Their Precious Time.) And it was not till today when I could finally pinpoint what it was about him which made me marvel.
He is patient, passionate. But most of all, Dr E is generous. Generous with his time, and himself.
Generosity. It refers to the quality of being gracious enough to give unselfishly, abundantly. And in the context of the bible story of the old, poor woman who, out of her poverty, gave all she had (just 2 copper coins), I believe it also refers to the quality of giving, not merely out of one's abundance and convenience, but also out of one's need. It is sharing in times of pressure, giving in times of lack.
Morning ward rounds became a battlefield today. 3 patients suddenly went into critical condition around the same time and Dr. E had not only to resusitate patients, but had to make phonecalls, make decisions, confront anxious relatives and teach his junior doctors at the same time. Yet, that cheeky smile was never far from his lips. Even in crisis, he could laugh at himself. Later, he told us, "No matter how badly your patient is doing, I always smile because it makes them feel better. A smile can halve a patient's pain, you know."
I saw, how generous he was with his smiles. Even in busy moments, he would pause to smile at me, "Wai Jia, I'm a little tied up now, so sorry. We'll have a discussion about strokes in a minute." He makes every person he comes into contact with feel important and cherished.
Grandpa Zhou came to visit me at the hospital today. I made him come, because he refused to see a doctor at a clinic, and would not let me take him. When I sat next to him by the steps of the train station yesterday, I saw that both his feet had swollen to grotesque proportions. Bilateral pitting edema. This is not a good sign. I remember I was very tired yesterday, and half-hoped I would not see him. When I did, I wanted to simply go home instead of stopping to chat. I was tired, and stingy with my time. How God shamed me. Because it was just when I sat down next to him that he handed me a bottle of medicated oil and a loaf of bread, saying, "I bought this oil for your leg many days ago, and was hoping to pass it to you as soon as I could-for your torn muscle. And a loaf of bread, because I'm terrified of bread, and you like to eat bread, haha."
Grandpa Zhou was generous with me. But I had not been so with him. I am always rushing somewhere, going off to study or train or meet somebody. I'm glad my injury has given me more time for the people around me.
Last night, Grandpa Zhou was adamant about not seeing a doctor. "I don't need one! My feet are swollen because I drank green tea yesterday!"
I cut him short. No, Grandpa Zhou, nonono... I wanted to tell him GREEN TEA DOES NOT MAKE YOUR FEET SWELL AND I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO THE DOCTOR. He wouldn't budge, so I made a deal with him, that he would give me a call the next day after I had asked Dr. E if he could see Grandpa Zhou's feet on an informal basis. He agreed.
Dr. E had had a busy morning. 3 of his patients were in critical condition at the same time. One elderly gentleman had a drug overdose (suspected suicide case), another had widespread infection and had just suffered a transient stroke causing temporary blindness and intestinal death, while the third was having fits after they had started treatment. The patients needed close monitoring, and many phonecalls had to be made. Dr. E had every right to be tired. Yet, when I told him about Grandpa Zhou, he smiled that same smile and said, "Sure, I'll be happy to see him."
When I picked Grandpa Zhou from the lobby, he finally admitted he was in pain. He was hobbling the way I was when I first injured myself. Pushing him down the long corridor in a wheelchair, I was astounded by my initial self-centredness- I nearly walked by him the previous night because I was afraid that he'd talk for too long, and... I was tired. I wanted to go home. Yet, today, all he wanted to know was whether his oil worked, whether I was better, if I could do triathlons again.
But when Dr. E saw him, he made Grandpa Zhou feel like the most important person in the world. Dr. E squatted down, listened to Grandpa Zhou's convoluted explanation about green tea and cucumbers causing foot-swelling and talked with him patiently. Dr. E was busy. Grandpa Zhou was a little long-winded. I was asking for a favor.
But Dr. E made us feel, in those 10 minutes, like the most important people in the world. The ten minutes felt like gold. It felt like forever, in a good way.
And in utter humility, Dr. E, instead of belittling Grandpa Zhou's explanation for his swollen feet, said, "I'm not very knowledgeable about how foods affect feet, Grandpa Zhou. But from my limited knowledge, I believe this may be a side effect of your hypertensive medication, and a sign of mild heart failure."
I learnt, that true generosity is giving someone else what they need, and not what I have excess of. It is not giving bread away to the person by the wayside and treating them like a charity case for my conscience's sake. It is sharing with them what is important to me, too, while respecting their dignity. Very often, it is being inconvenienced.
After the consult, I wheeled Grandpa Zhou downstairs.
"Haha," I laughed. "You and I, both of us are PAI-KA (Hokkien dialect for 'crippled')."
"Go back to work," he said, "I'm taking up your time. I'll handle myself, don't worry."
Why am I so stingy with my time. Did I make Grandpa Zhou feel like he was taking up my time? If I can spend 2 hours biking, why can't I spend this time listening to a explanation about green tea and swollen feet. Why am I always rushing about. It struck me, that perhaps, Grandpa Zhou had walked on his painful, swollen feet just so he could get the medicated oil for me specially.
Grandpa Zhou had shown me lavish generosity.
Dr. E, in his busyness, then sat down to teach me about anti-hypertensive drugs.
He is generous with his smile, and generous with his Time-something senior doctors have so little of.
Just before I left, I wanted to thank Dr. E for being so Generous with his time with Grandpa Zhou, with his time teaching me, and with his time in taking us students out for sumptuous lunches so he could get to know us better as persons, not functional entities.
But before I could open my mouth to express my gratitude, he said, "I just wanted to thank you Wai Jia for introducing me to Grandpa Zhou. It was an honour meeting him. I hope you had a good day, you must be tired. "
I stood there, speechless.
Thank you Dr. E, for reinspiring me, and for reminding me, that God has an abundance of grace and love and resources, of which we can tap on to share with and give others. Thank you for generously giving yourself to the people around you, be it through a smile, eye contact or simply making me feel like the most important person in the world when I'm talking to you.
And thank you Grandpa Zhou, for the medicated oil, for the bread and for praying for me. But most of all, for teaching me yet again, the grace of giving.
2 Corinthians8:2,3, 7
I have started a new module at another hospital. My stint at the previous hospital had left me jaded and rather discouraged, making me question my vocation. Now every day, I am reinspired by his enthusiasm for his work, passion to teach and dedication to his patients. I used to dislike Internal Medicine as a subject because I found it so incredibly difficult to master. Because of him, I now enjoy it tremendously.
There was something so effervescent, and genuine about his personality. (I hate to admit this, but doctors are valecdictorians of Making Other People Feel Like They Are Taking Up Their Precious Time.) And it was not till today when I could finally pinpoint what it was about him which made me marvel.
He is patient, passionate. But most of all, Dr E is generous. Generous with his time, and himself.
Generosity. It refers to the quality of being gracious enough to give unselfishly, abundantly. And in the context of the bible story of the old, poor woman who, out of her poverty, gave all she had (just 2 copper coins), I believe it also refers to the quality of giving, not merely out of one's abundance and convenience, but also out of one's need. It is sharing in times of pressure, giving in times of lack.
Morning ward rounds became a battlefield today. 3 patients suddenly went into critical condition around the same time and Dr. E had not only to resusitate patients, but had to make phonecalls, make decisions, confront anxious relatives and teach his junior doctors at the same time. Yet, that cheeky smile was never far from his lips. Even in crisis, he could laugh at himself. Later, he told us, "No matter how badly your patient is doing, I always smile because it makes them feel better. A smile can halve a patient's pain, you know."
I saw, how generous he was with his smiles. Even in busy moments, he would pause to smile at me, "Wai Jia, I'm a little tied up now, so sorry. We'll have a discussion about strokes in a minute." He makes every person he comes into contact with feel important and cherished.
Grandpa Zhou came to visit me at the hospital today. I made him come, because he refused to see a doctor at a clinic, and would not let me take him. When I sat next to him by the steps of the train station yesterday, I saw that both his feet had swollen to grotesque proportions. Bilateral pitting edema. This is not a good sign. I remember I was very tired yesterday, and half-hoped I would not see him. When I did, I wanted to simply go home instead of stopping to chat. I was tired, and stingy with my time. How God shamed me. Because it was just when I sat down next to him that he handed me a bottle of medicated oil and a loaf of bread, saying, "I bought this oil for your leg many days ago, and was hoping to pass it to you as soon as I could-for your torn muscle. And a loaf of bread, because I'm terrified of bread, and you like to eat bread, haha."
Grandpa Zhou was generous with me. But I had not been so with him. I am always rushing somewhere, going off to study or train or meet somebody. I'm glad my injury has given me more time for the people around me.
Last night, Grandpa Zhou was adamant about not seeing a doctor. "I don't need one! My feet are swollen because I drank green tea yesterday!"
I cut him short. No, Grandpa Zhou, nonono... I wanted to tell him GREEN TEA DOES NOT MAKE YOUR FEET SWELL AND I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO THE DOCTOR. He wouldn't budge, so I made a deal with him, that he would give me a call the next day after I had asked Dr. E if he could see Grandpa Zhou's feet on an informal basis. He agreed.
Dr. E had had a busy morning. 3 of his patients were in critical condition at the same time. One elderly gentleman had a drug overdose (suspected suicide case), another had widespread infection and had just suffered a transient stroke causing temporary blindness and intestinal death, while the third was having fits after they had started treatment. The patients needed close monitoring, and many phonecalls had to be made. Dr. E had every right to be tired. Yet, when I told him about Grandpa Zhou, he smiled that same smile and said, "Sure, I'll be happy to see him."
When I picked Grandpa Zhou from the lobby, he finally admitted he was in pain. He was hobbling the way I was when I first injured myself. Pushing him down the long corridor in a wheelchair, I was astounded by my initial self-centredness- I nearly walked by him the previous night because I was afraid that he'd talk for too long, and... I was tired. I wanted to go home. Yet, today, all he wanted to know was whether his oil worked, whether I was better, if I could do triathlons again.
But when Dr. E saw him, he made Grandpa Zhou feel like the most important person in the world. Dr. E squatted down, listened to Grandpa Zhou's convoluted explanation about green tea and cucumbers causing foot-swelling and talked with him patiently. Dr. E was busy. Grandpa Zhou was a little long-winded. I was asking for a favor.
But Dr. E made us feel, in those 10 minutes, like the most important people in the world. The ten minutes felt like gold. It felt like forever, in a good way.
And in utter humility, Dr. E, instead of belittling Grandpa Zhou's explanation for his swollen feet, said, "I'm not very knowledgeable about how foods affect feet, Grandpa Zhou. But from my limited knowledge, I believe this may be a side effect of your hypertensive medication, and a sign of mild heart failure."
I learnt, that true generosity is giving someone else what they need, and not what I have excess of. It is not giving bread away to the person by the wayside and treating them like a charity case for my conscience's sake. It is sharing with them what is important to me, too, while respecting their dignity. Very often, it is being inconvenienced.
After the consult, I wheeled Grandpa Zhou downstairs.
"Haha," I laughed. "You and I, both of us are PAI-KA (Hokkien dialect for 'crippled')."
"Go back to work," he said, "I'm taking up your time. I'll handle myself, don't worry."
Why am I so stingy with my time. Did I make Grandpa Zhou feel like he was taking up my time? If I can spend 2 hours biking, why can't I spend this time listening to a explanation about green tea and swollen feet. Why am I always rushing about. It struck me, that perhaps, Grandpa Zhou had walked on his painful, swollen feet just so he could get the medicated oil for me specially.
Grandpa Zhou had shown me lavish generosity.
Dr. E, in his busyness, then sat down to teach me about anti-hypertensive drugs.
He is generous with his smile, and generous with his Time-something senior doctors have so little of.
Just before I left, I wanted to thank Dr. E for being so Generous with his time with Grandpa Zhou, with his time teaching me, and with his time in taking us students out for sumptuous lunches so he could get to know us better as persons, not functional entities.
But before I could open my mouth to express my gratitude, he said, "I just wanted to thank you Wai Jia for introducing me to Grandpa Zhou. It was an honour meeting him. I hope you had a good day, you must be tired. "
I stood there, speechless.
Thank you Dr. E, for reinspiring me, and for reminding me, that God has an abundance of grace and love and resources, of which we can tap on to share with and give others. Thank you for generously giving yourself to the people around you, be it through a smile, eye contact or simply making me feel like the most important person in the world when I'm talking to you.
And thank you Grandpa Zhou, for the medicated oil, for the bread and for praying for me. But most of all, for teaching me yet again, the grace of giving.
"For I bear witness that according to their ability,
yes, and beyond their ability, they were freely willing...
But just as you excel in everything—
in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us—
-see that you also excel in this grace of giving. "
2 Corinthians8:2,3, 7
*This post is dedicated to Dr. E, whose love and passion for medicine and his patients refreshes and inspires me every day.
Curly Hair
We tried to curl my hair again yesterday in class. It came out really nice. I have only curled my hair once not too long ago, so curly hair is really weird and different for me because my hair is always straight. My hair doesn't take curls really well though so it is hard and a few hours later the curls began coming out on their own. I woke up this morning and like there's like barely any curl left so it's pretty sad. I guess I'm gonna straighten it out because it looks stupid with like weird wavy things in it that used to be curls.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
What's going on between David Beckham and Charlize Theron
It's always embarrassing when celebrities turn up to the same event wearing matching clothes.
But we suspect that David Beckham and Charlize Theron probably never thought they'd ever have that problem - until last night.
The footballer and the actress were snapped at a basketball game in Los Angeles wearing identical black and white plaid shirts and faded jeans.
as they attended an LA Lakers game last night
But Victoria can breathe a sigh of relief because while both of them had courtside tickets, they weren't actually sitting together.
The pair were cheering on the home side at the Staples Centre who were taking on Oklahoma City Thunder in the first half of game two of their first round Western Conference playoff game.
And not to look too casual, Charlize teamed her fitted shirt with skinny blue jeans and slashed, open-toed killer heels.
David's shirt as she watches the game
Beckham, on the other hand, was still in a plaster cast as his ruptured Achilles tendon continues to heal.
Looking relaxed and happy, the 34-year-old laughed and chatted with his producer friend and basketball buddy Navin Naranga.
And for someone who is rarely seen drinking, it was also a surprise to see Becks knocking back a pint of lager, as he enjoys his time off from football.
Charlize and Becks quench their thirst with an ice cold beer
Becks is becoming a courtside regular as he waits for his foot to heal, although we suspect he'd love nothing more than to be running around all day training for the World Cup.
It was his third visit to see team in a week, having been there seven days ago with Naranga and a few days later with celebrity chef and friend Gordon Ramsay in tow.
Charlize was at the game with an unidentified male friend who she appeared to be getting quite flirty with as they shared a joke together.
Becks gets settled courtside with a refreshing beer
What's so funny? Beckham erupts into giggles
as his friend Navin Narang makes him laugh
The South African-born actress, 34, is back on the singles scene again after splitting from her long-term actor boyfriend Stuart Townsend in January.
According to reports, she is set to team up again with Mark Wahlberg, Jason Statham, and Seth Green again for the sequel to their 2003 remake of the Italian Job.
The Brazilian Job, pegged for release next year, follows Charlie Croker, played by Wahlberg, and his fellow crew of expert thieves as they head to Rio de Janeiro to pull off another heist.
Who's your date? Charlize laughs with an unidentified male friend
who put his hand on her knee as they shared a joke
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