City from a hill.

“Come, and tell me what happened?"

“…”

“... Not a good week at hospital?”

“I... no... It’s nothing much, really. It’s just really silly… just tiny, stupid things.”

“It’s the little things which always get us down, no?”


We had breakfast together in her White house- just simple toast and spread. Just simple bread, the kind you just buy from the supermarket in a loaf, and simple spread, the kind from a household brand. But it was a lovely breakfast, prepared by her in her large, lovely White house, atop a hill, and it was nice to have someone invite me over, pray with me while being enveloped in a hug, and send me home. It’s amazing to have church-aunties who love you- they're like supernatural guardian angels who read your minds and predict your emotions, buy you meals and pretty things, invite you to their homes, pray for you, and spend time to text message you to ask how your week was, even though you don't deserve any of it.

This beautiful woman’s house is on a hill, overlooking our Singaporean city of skyscrapers. When you reach the top, the tall buildings underneath the canopy of azure sky, rising just above the host of low terrace houses below, look like a mirage, foggy in the distance. On a clear morning, the view is breathtaking.

Simple breakfast. Sharing. Talk, and flipping pages from an old bible. Prayer, tears and a big squeeze.

"Come, I'll send you home."

A grateful smile.

We climb into her large car and drive away.

"I love this view of the city from up here. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?"

“Yes, it really is, Aunty Ay. It’s amazing.”

“ I like driving down this road- it reminds me that God’s plan for us for our future is just like that beautiful city you see there. It’s right there, built already.”

As we drove downhill, however, the spectacular and surreal canvas of the cityscape began to sink, out of our view. The terrace houses at the road rose to meet us, and once again, we were back on the ground, surrounded by roads, trees, temples, boring houses… The advantage of an elevated position no longer provided us with the amazing view, and the real world surrounded us again.

“ See dear, as I'm driving down, we lose sight of the city. All these houses around us now are like the distractions all around us, the world we’re forced to be in and yet not a part of. Hurtful things people say, nastiness and comparisons, discouragement, stress from exams, the flurry of hospital life… But you see, Wai Jia, the city is still there. Nothing’s changed. God’s plan for our future is still there. It’s right there.”

“Mm.”

“You’ll be a great doctor, Wai Jia. I’m so sure of it.”

“... ... Thank you... thank you very much, for everything you did for me today... And thank you for the present.”

I opened the sash and saw Estee Lauder. Lots of girly, pretty things inside a soft cloth-bag which I’d never have the audacity to buy for myself- lipgloss and lipstick and scents and such. I liked them very much. But more than them, I liked the simple breakfast, hug and ride home, downhill, and watching the city sink away from my view, and knowing that no matter how low I was feeling, how inadequate, incompetent, uncapable, discouraged, wretched and icky and overwhelmed I was from the week, the city was still… there.

No matter how far our car drove downhill, and though all we could see before us were low houses and pavements, nothing changed the fact that the city, full of its lights and pulse and excitement, grand architecture and touristy sights- Fullerton hotel, banks, offices, the Singapore river, Clarke Quay, the Singapore flyer, Marina Bay... was still there.

When our view of things change and it seems like things around us are sinking away or like we’re walking down a valley, perhaps it's good to remember that like God, most of the important things in life can't be seen immediately, too. Life's full of ups and downs, encouragements and discouragements, mountaintop experiences and deep-valley moments, but what matters is that no matter where we are, we hold on to the hope that God has a plan, all written out already for us. We may not be able to see it, not be able to imagine it, even, but just like the beautiful cityscape which we saw from atop the hill,

… the city- God’s city for us... is still… there.

“Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.”
- Hebrews 11:16