Vision for God.

I remember being quite in awe when I first met her. Some people are like that- you hear so much about them that by the time you do meet them, they're elevated to goddess status. I'd heard things about her- about her brilliance, mainly. So when I met her, and saw how brilliant, quirky and demanding she was, I was, to say the least, a little terrified.

Out of all the specialties that I've been exposed to, I remember finding Paediatrics the toughest. I hated seeing sick children. I remember being depressed every day during that period. So when she, my Professor With A Legacy, told me straight in my face that I wasn't keeping up, it was like a slap in the face. I remember her asking me to examine a patient's heart. And I stood there, my mind as blank as a sheet as I took in the gravity of reality- that the patient was a little boy with Down's syndrome and multiple abnormalities, abandoned by his family after he had undergone several surgeries. She asked me questions in front of my peers, and I stood there, tongue-tied, overwhelmed by my own grief and shock.

I knew from that day, that as much as I love children, I could never do Paediatrics. I had expected to do very badly for my exam, but I didn't. She gave me extra one-on-one lessons. She wanted to get to know me as a person.

Yesterday, months after my Paediatric examinations, and many weeks after she sent me home in her car one day after we'd bumped into each other outside, she text messaged me to meet her. "I've something for you."

Two books, and a letter.

Vision for God, a beautiful book of the story of Margaret Brand, a medical missionary who trained in London and then served in India with her husband, the famous Dr. Paul Brand whom Philip Yancey wrote books about. She became a world expert on leprosy's effect on the eye. She was Chief of Ophthalmology. "I've this brilliant book I absolutely must give to you, Wai Jia," I remember her telling me that day as she drove me home.


Another book called Granny Brand, the real life story of a woman who, together with her husband Jesse Brand, served the people of India through nursing, teaching and preaching to the diseased and poverty-stricken hill people. Her husband died of blackwater fever and she continued to carry his dream to fulfillment.

Her gifts really touched me, because she remembered my dream to do missions, my fears of Ophthalmology and its temptations to detract me from my goal, and my love of reading. That day when she sent me home, she gave me another book in her car- The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom.

This time, she wrote:

" How are you doing in your schoolwork? You are probably a fairly good student judging from your grades, at least the grades you got for Paediatrics. Don't get too discouraged if you don't do that well here and there- that happens to most of us! Medical school is only a step on the way to being a competent and compassionate doctor.

Whoever told you that ophthalmologists are not helpful on the mission field is mistaken... ..."

She remembered what I had shared with her.

"... One of your concerns was being sucked into the world of wanting more money/position/power. That threat is very real. Part of the problem is the length of training required to practise as a specialist. About 6-7 yeats in Singapore. When you're in the system for so long, it is quite hard to get out. Well, there are a few things you can do. First, keep close to God. He is your best compass."

Her letter was such a surprise. Such an unexpected blessing.

I met her just after I had participated in a meeting with my Vice-Dean about improving our medical curriculum- I've been roped in to help improve the system. Improving the curriculum for my juniors is something which weighs on my heart. Her love reminded me, that I too, ought to aspire to be the kind of doctor who gives back to my juniors, and students, to help them continually aspire to become doctors of inspiration and hope.

She wrote many things... "Practically, you can make frequent trips to missions fields... "

But the one which touched me the most was-

"... I'll pray for you, stay close to God!"

I still remember that day I felt so terrorized when she sized me up and asked me why I wasn't performing, why I wasn't up to par.

I got a really tough case for my exam, Prof. My patient was a blue baby and I'd to disgnose his heart defect.

I passed it well because of you.

Thank you for reminding me what it means to be a doctor- not only a physician, but a teacher, mentor and friend.
It is doctors like you who help me remember to keep my vision for God burning, and ever so real.