Like a Hurricane Wind.

"And you move through my soul like a hurricane wind."

-Feel the Silence by Googoo dolls

I guess, I've never had anyone send me a song lyric expressing how he felt and write to me like that before. Because when I read it, a hand reached into me and clouds of warm steam billowed inside of me in a way I had never felt before. It unnerved me, because I had no control over this feeling. I am used to being in control of my feelings. I was scared. I am still scared. I get more scared thinking about it.

I guess, I've never had anyone put his arm around me like that before. When Pastor asked us to take the hand of someone next to us or put our hands on someone's shoulder, that manly hold around me suddenly surprised and comforted me. I didn't expect it at all. For some strange, inexplicable reason, it felt peculiarly familiar and right, like an empty puzzle slot being filled with the right piece. At that moment, it felt it belonged there. But then, thinking about it just minutes later, I was Petrified. I was so scared I talked to you about it and said I couldn't take that sort of thing.

It scares me too much, I said.

This whole thing scares me when I think about it.

Your Mercedes-benz scar burned across your chest like a symbol of war inspires

awe and respect and fear in me.

I guess, it's just that I've grown up hearing a lot of fighting and seeing a lot of drama from people I know. Cheating, affairs, spite, hatred- I've seen the whole works played out in drama-serial proportions in real life before. The idealistic girl inside of me permits no tainted form of love and has thus, become wildly afraid of it. For so long I'd convinced myself I'd be better off doing missions and serving God and the poor by myself.

I'm afraid. What do I do now?

How do I react to:

"And you move through my soul like a hurricane wind."

I don't know what to say, or what to do.


All I can do is pray, though

all I can feel is fear.


All I can say for now is, you've really got some kind of guts.

Thank you for the song :)

Feel The Silence
You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry
All you remember now
Is what you feel

The truth remains
In midnight conversations
I asked for this moment
But you turned away

Sad like a lonely child
Broken the day you're born
I held the light to you
But I was so vain

And you remain
A promise unfulfilled
I ask you for more
But you push me away

And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside
Everything means more now than
Words could explain

And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside us
Looking for something more to say
I don't know where I'm going
Only know where I been
But you move through my soul like a hurricane wind
We've been so lost for so long
I don't know how to get back again
And we're drowning in the water
That flows under this bridge
When you're fighting the current
You forget how to live
And I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin
And you remain
A promise unfulfilled until today

And if we feel the silence
Holding this all inside
Everything means more now than
Words could explain
And if we feel the silence
Leaving this all behind us
When it's gone what will you say

How do we hold on

You lie awake at night
With blue eyes that never cry