Monday, December 29, 2008

It's Inside.

"Wai Jia. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, of course."

" What does God's presence feel like to you?"


Pause.


" God's presence ...? "

"Yea, like you know, at church or whenever, what do you mean each time you talk about God's presence? What is it exactly? When do you feel it?"

Pause.

" It's different at different times, you know."

"Yeah, go on."

Pause.


"...God's presence... ... is like a big balloon when I sing at church with the whole church singing. A great, big balloon which billows out and expands to fill the entire hall- it's like He becomes air and spirit, and we are breathing Him, singing Him. It's when I close my eyes and lift my hands and start to cry, because I feel my heart lift, His love and His closeness. Sometimes, He feels like a wind, and other times, like a gentle warmth.

God's presence is when I'm at hospital and having a bad day, alone but not lonely because I feel Him close by me. God's presence is when I see His big love demonstrated through a tiniest act by a friend for someone else or me. It's when I'm doing absolutely nothing and yet feeling one hundred percent purposeful because He has a plan for me.

I feel God's presence when I sprawl out on the grass and look at the sky, and marvel at His glory; when I cycle at the beach and watch the waves crash in; when I walk to school with my head cocked to the sky, like a silly girl, because I can't get enough of that drunken beauty which fills the clouds, or when I walk in the rain..."

"Mm. Uh-huh."

"... God's presence is when I kneel at the foot of my bed every night and talk to Him, and feel at peace. It's when I lay in bed and feel His body close by me- I cannot fall asleep without imagining Him sleeping by me. He always, always watches me sleep. God's presence... is everywhere. Everywhere you want it to be, anywhere, at all times. It's inside. "


Pause.


"Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. I've heard you share about it before, so I just wanted to know."

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