Overdelivering.

"Free for dinner?"

And it amused me to know just a week after I had whined about not being taken out to nice places for dinner, I had 3 dinner invites. Two nights ago, it was my professor, a very admired figure no doubt, who took me out. She was, has been, is giddy in love with God, and when I asked her if there was anything she had ever been mad at God about, she looked at me quizzically, as if I were talking gibberish. And she smiled, a most radiant smile which glowed and vibrated and sang all at once.

"Wai Jia, how can we ever be mad at God? Haven't you read the other book called The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom I gave you the last time? She said, God will never give you what you would not ask for had you known the end from the beginning. Don't you know, He underpromises and overdelivers, every single time."

"Really?"

And I stared at her, sharing with her the flux of emotions I had had over the past few weeks.

"Why can't things be perfect? Yes I know the whole story about Adam and Eve and all... but why, why can't things just be okay? Why all this long drawn suffering?"

"Because this side of heaven wasn't meant to be perfect."

And somehow, it dawned upon me, that I need to trust God more, that He knew and knows best, and I... just don't. My emotions regarding the uncertain state of my second book only revealed to me how much it meant to me, and how I needed to let go. I was disappointed at thinking things would not come to pass. They said it'd be out by October, but it's mid-September and nothing much has been happening. I don't like silence.

I went home,and determined in my heart not to be mad at God anymore. God will never give you what you would not ask for had you known the end from the beginning. Maybe there's a reason for this all.

The next morning, I got emails from both the team from the Singapore General Hospital and from my publisher with the whole online copy of A Taste of Rainbow compiled and done up nicely.

I suppose, God has His timing. And I suppose, He just really wanted me to know, that I need only to trust, and not be worried about things. He wanted me to know, that I am fallible but He is not, and He most certainly keeps His promises. He wanted me to know, that I can completely trust Him, and really, there's no reason to be mad at Him because after all, He just wants us to learn some lessons, and...

... He underpromises and overdelivers, every single time.

"Help me, O God, to make a true use of

all disappointments and calamities in this life,

in such wise that they may unite my heart more closely with Thee.

Cause them to separate my affections

from worldly things and inspire my soul

with more vigour

in the pursuit of true happiness."

- by Susanna Wesley,

sent to me by a friend : )

PS: Mr. T got his 5 shirts today : ) and I've another 36-hour call tomorrow at the hospital. Yes, on a sunday. And even in that, I am learning we can honour God with our wholehearted service to every patient we meet!