It's okay.

"No. My answer is no."

I have gotten used to hearing that. And sometimes, the more resistance I face, the more my inner being feels that it is something worth giving a long shot for.

They say it is good to listen to wise counsel and I agree with that. But I have also learnt, that most importantly, one must listen to that still small voice that comes quietly in the night.

I have a feeling, that my 2 greatest decisions in life- what I do with my job and the person I marry will not be conventional choice either. And they will be decisions I will have to stick by in spite of the resistance and naysaying.

"No, my answer is no. Why are you asking again? I've already told you. They just had a shooting incident. No."

I remember being torn that whole week. My folks didn't want me to go to Manila, not with this amazing photographer person whom I'd only met once, even though he was my publisher's friend. They didn't want me in that crazy city, where they just had a shooting rampage going on and some innocent Hong Kong tourists were recklessly shot to death.

But I really had to go. It was not so much that I wanted to go as much as I knew God wanted me to. I heard that still small voice. That day after praying, I saw a rainbow. And I knew, I was due to go.

I wanted to book the air tickets anyhow, but somehow, a greater respect for my folks stopped me. So I prayed. And prayed. And quit asking, and prayed some more.

Then a week later, my greying hero walked into my room and said, "It's not safe. If you ask me, I'll say I don't like the idea. But if you feel you really must, then book your tickets. We'll pay."

So I've taken leave from my crazy surgical internship to go to a dumpsite in Manila to visit some children living in dumpsites. Me, and 2 other guys, one whom I've never met before. They work closely with an NGO there on a regular basis.

God said Go, so I held Him to His word. So even if anything happens, know that I will die an incredibly happy and fulfilled person.

And just because I've witnessed too many heartbreakingly unexpected deaths of late, I just want to say that Mum and Dad, know that you have given me life to the full by releasing me. Know that I am thankful for your love that allows me to share God's love with the world. Know that whatever happens, I will forever be thankful I had the chance to live life this way. This is the best life to live.

Jo, thanks for praying for me- make sure there're lots of colourful balloons and emo Coldplay and David Crowder music at my funeral and you can have all my photos, dresses and ear-rings. Jes, you can have all the upgraded parts of my bike and fit it onto yours. Aunty Ay, please give all my money away to a foundation for needy kids in Africa, because that is the one place where I've yet to hug the children in.

It's a reckless trip, I know. Someone told me there's some terror alert going on in the area but it's okay. I'm okay. This isn't any different from when I went to Nepal or India or Indonesia.

Your prayers are appreciated.

"Go into all the world..."

-Mark 16: 15